What A Peace

So I'm sitting here at my workstation. It's 11:30 AM CST (which you could probably guess from looking at the date and time that this post was created) on  this bright Saturday morning. Not only am I sitting here, but I'm the ONLY one sitting here. Not only am I the ONLY one sitting here, I don’t have anything to do too. And If I'm not a very bad peeper there’s no one in that next office too, which makes me all alone on the this floor. What a peace it is. No evidence of any living soul here, not till as far as I can see.

I don't really mind, to tell the truth. I've been kind of attached to these kind of silent places all my life.  Not sure how many of you know of farms and poultry in back side of Yerwada Jail, but that’s the best place I could find for me within Pune. If found nowhere, I shall be surely sitting under some tree there. I do that when I find myself single ... no matter how well I take it. I tend to close myself off to everybody.

Not that it is any new to me. But all alone in office certainly is a first of a kind for me. You can’t be alone at any given point of time in 7000 +mustered employee company back in India.

I've been running around the office for the past twenty minutes screaming bloody murder. I mean that, too. "BLOODY MURDER!!!" Of course, I've been thinking about the things that I'm supposed to accomplish the entire time. Doesn't change the fact that there isn't nearly enough bloody murder screaming going on nowadays. I today realized that the scroll button of my mouse makes such a creepy noise and also that a ping on my messenger could be heard well from up till 3 bays far.

So, it's about 12:00 now, and I'm still sitting here. Not only am I sitting here, I still don’t have anything to do too. What a peace it is.

OOO

It's 11:30 in the night here, and I'm writing a big mail. Really big. 1927 words and 4 screenshots long mail. J

I admit that I like to write but if it is something geeky, it somehow grows  harder and harder by every line written. (And then there was a time when I used to think that I should move to my company’s technical writing team. Thankfully they didn't take me J). It has taken me good 4-5 hours to write the mail and I also don’t know number of redo, undo, deletes and pastes it has undergone. Anyhow , it is ready now. I have finally been able to sum up my emotion (read assumptions and doubts) into a mail. The email is now beautified with 4 screenshots evenly distributed all over the mail( just to make sure that 1927 words do not fall short to conveying my struggle, dilemma, grief & pain J).

All Set. One long breathe. Send Button Clicked. Husss……

By the time I took my hands long and tried to stretch them by few more inches of their actual size, came the response and it was….

“I'm out of office until 10^th-Nov-2013. In case of emergency. Call 911 J”.

I was broken. This world is for not for me. Whited Sepulcher, Nazi, Hypercritic blah blah…… and I logged off. But sooner I realized how cool it was J. And the thought was soon taken over by what I did when I out-of-office last.

It is the last day before I jail break. Who works on a day before the leaves, so wasn't I. I quickly handed over all the tasks to others and jumped back into to my workstation to write my out of office notification. Like a true programmer, I copied it from somewhere. Name, contact number, start date, end date, alternate contact customized and it is done.

Wait Wait…

Why contact number? Do I really want someone to bug me in my priceless afternoon nap with stupid  how-to-do-that things or for matter that make me attend a meeting when I should be enjoying the surrounding I'm in?

NO NO… Not at all. Contact details is struck out immediately. Gosh… I saved a deadly mistake. How smart ‘m I.J

Secondly, why would someone be interested in knowing from when to when ‘m I not visible in the office. Anyhow I’m not running away. I will be back someday and this someday will come sooner. I really don’t think if any one comes to office just to see me J (if there are any, meet me now, I'm at my desk).

Yes.. I think you are right this time too. Start and end dates are struck out too.

But dude, by now the mail states that you are out-of-office. Remember, this is not your last mail, it is just for a week’s engagement. I know you are excited but you have to come back here only. While I can think more , my right-side brain gently, as it does always, said “Sir, I have an idea and I promise it will not have all that you don’t want it to have”.

I smiled and said “Shoot”. “Let’s have a cup of chai first”, he said. We broke into a 10 minute tea break and when we returned, I wrote a small note and left for the day.

Here is what I wrote…

How Would That Be..

Movie: Some typical Bollywood style..

Scene: Our hero who until yesterday was a nearly “numb n dumb” guy suddenly transform himself into a uber cool professional (maybe he had a read of “You can WIN” last night J), run into the boss’s cabin and delivers some filmi lines so perfectly. Finally throws his paper on him moves out. Before he even turns around the “devil till yesterday ” boss is almost on his feet and offers him all he wants.

Comes in the demands…. salary raised 4 times, a secretory and “the Corner Cabin”. Done. Deal signed.

Next scene, he is in his cabin, a black textured wooden floored room. The back scores is celebrating his victory. Camera is doing a merry-go-round around him. He pulls up the curtains and the whole of the city trimmed by the endless sea is for his view. On the back wall, the larger than life logo to the company fills up the view. The side wall is covered by the largest TV is have ever seen, flashing Bloomberg with sensex and stocks running in the scrolls. He can see all of his office, including of course, his love interest form the other side. Perfect start to his heroism, I’m impressed.

Rest was waste, but that gave me an idea. How does my office’s “Corner Cabins” looks like?

I couldn't afford to attain any such high (or even low) that I can manage to drop in my CEO’s cabin. All I could manage is to move uphill is to my VP’s Cabin. It was a rather a simple one, a whiteboard on front wall. Interestingly, it a had map of Pune denoting all the major IT companies. It was the best thing I could find for me there. There was a daily diary on the desk and few markers. 

The view out was of a connecting road followed by the garden, impressive all together. It had a calendar hung on the wall with Lord Venketeshwara blessing him 24x7. A hanger too, but seems like never had it’s worth taken for. The backdrop was donned by numerous momentous and  certificate marking his 3^rd and 5^th  years in the company.

Having said that I just wonder how would be my CEO’s room be..

Whenever I have walked around his room, I have seen that red blub ON, declaring “Silence Please. Meeting in Progress”.

Just wonder how would it be, how large it would be. Have you redesigned it by your taste or it’s the same standard as all over. I’m sure it will have a huge TV, but not sure what goes on it, does it also flashes the same Bloomberg. 

I also want to know if it also have the virtual golf turf J. All the Hollywood style movies ,I have seen,  whenever shots a CEO’s room, they almost always have this gadget placed in their rooms. Does it also stations a mini bar and if yes, what all you have for the toast. J

What must be on your book selves(don’t tell me you don’t have that), Martin Luther King, Karl Marx or Corporate Laws or something else. Do he also uses the same desk phone as I or something more fancy (which I doubt) or something more basic. Does a brass made Ghandhiji too finds the place in the cabin. I’m sure you have a closet but just interested to know what all in your wardrobe here. How does that “red signal” goes ON or it is an ever red thing. How is the view out of your cabin and do you too can see your secretory cabin from your desk.

Well the question will only keep on growing. So Mr. CEO, or someone worth capable, in case you come across this, do call me for a visit to cabin. I really want to write a sequence to this with answer to all my questions. And in the meantime my efforts to make it up to your room is going in full swing at my desk.

Meet you soon at your place. J

Raat Kali Hai (Black Night)

It’s RELEASE TIME here at office.

…and all that happens with every release is happening this time too. Late night stays, long calls and blah blah things. Every code that was working until yesterday is not working today. Big daddies have almost deserted their spacious cabins and planted themselves into our bays itself. You have to give same status to three different set of people thrice a day and yet some one or the other will surely drop to your desk roaring those magical three words to you, “What’s the status”. J

“It not because of me, it’s because of someone else’s code…… ”

“How come it caught this late……”

“See, it’s even not working in the previous…….”

“OK, do we have a workaround to it……”

and finally

“Let’s document it. J”

   

These were some of the lines I have been hearing more than normal these days. Thankfully being just an ordinary developer, I’m a silent part of all of it. You only need to be a mute participant into those “entertainment meeting”. Occasionally your name will be tossed up and the word set you are allowed to use are {yes, no, OK, thank you, bye}. The most you need to do is to stay late at the nights and that’s not a big task. In fact the day really goes easy if you know that you have to stay late. You will take an extra 15 minutes at lunch time and honk your skills at foosball table. Your tea time will also be a little longer as you know that the day is not ending soon.

And as soon as sun starts setting down, your kingship over the cubicles will start growing. “Hey, I shall leave now and in case you find any issue just call me anytime”, married members of your team will soon start creeping out. “Koi Nahi Sir. Aaj Raat Kali Hai”, I will smile and grant him bid adieu. Raat Kali, is a popular slang here at Indian office which declares that it’s a long day and you have to be ready to it. Soon you few will be the only humans left in the whole bay or may be in the whole of floor. You are the king now. No Questions, No Answers, No Status. All you need to do is to work and thankfully you have scripts for that too.

Time to unplug myself and first things that will be unplugged will be my headphone. I’m a loyal fan of Abida Parveen. My iPod have a permanent set of gazals of hers and it’s only growing. Her husky voice singing some of the legendry lyrics can make anyone can fall for them. “Ye na thi hamari kismet ki missal-e-yaar hota”, and that beautiful gracious face gets sketched by its own (Sorry, now more details for now). I can listen to her all the day long.

It’s 11:30 PM in the night. My scripts are working for me, legs placed on my desk, sipping hot coffee and Abidaji singing “Ye Kon Aata Hai” for me. You can’t ask any more from life. In fact, a security guy came to me and said “Sir, ye kiska gaana hai , bada accha lag raha hai”. I smiled and continued.

Anyhow this is not all why I’m writing this blog for. “Ye sab toh sab pretext tha”. I know that I’m not the first person to do it also this will not last time. We all stretch some day or the other to make the ends meet. I’m writing this to list down some of the nice gazals I found this release seasons. If you too share some interest in soulful music, I’m sure it will be a good listing for your playlist.

1. O Des Se Aanewaale Bata

2. Sarv-o-Saman Bhi

3. Awwale Shab Woh Bazm Ki Raunk

4. Ye Kon Aata Hai

5. Ek Lafze Mohhabat

You can get all of them on gaana.com.

So next time, when it’s your turn to make “Raat Kali”, do try them. Enjoy and hails Abidaji. 

Purpose to Life: A 2BHK?

I’m not a regular victim of Monday Morning Blues.

And one of the prime reasons for this is my inabilities to find something interesting enough to do in two days weekend. Many times I have almost nothing left to do by Sunday afternoon and hence eagerly start waiting of being at office. Wait, Wait. Just in case, you started thinking that ‘m luckier, you a bit wrong. I too do get hit by Monday Morning Blues (MMB) and mine is sever than other.

This Monday, when I picked my bus to office (sitting at the last but one seat as I have been doing for last 2 years now), I was hit by MMB. It all started by a simple question, “Why ‘m I here”. I firstly tried a half-hearted attempt to avoid the question and started peeping outside. Somebody patted me from back. It is me only, but just a better one. I call him Better Me. He the person I hate to talk the most, but then he is the person who talk the most. He is the one who is never happy of me, no matter whatever I do. He is the worst critic of me I know. And the worst part of the contract is that I can’t lie to him. He claims to know me more than me.

I started getting cold feet as soon as I saw him. He is last man I would like to meet just in the start of day. I tried my most to ignore me.

“Are you trying to avoid me? Don’t you know that this all will not work.” said Better Me with his trademark sarcastic smile.

“OH! It’s you. I just didn’t saw you. How are you doing this morning”, I said.

“Avoid that. Answer me. Why are you here?” His looks were now making me even more nervous and pale. I don’t want to start the week this way. I looked all over and found that there were hardly that could save me from him. I finally gathered myself and decided to hit him hard. Pulling up my sleeves, I replied.

“What a question is this. I’m going to office. I have been doing the same for 2 year now in this time of day and you claim to know me better than me.”, I tried the best I can.

“OK. So you want me to be blunt.” I had lost his cool by now. “Why are you going to office”, he jumped back with another.

“To learn new things”, I replied in the same tone like a student standing in his principal’s room replies.

He was out in laugh. I can see that the whole on bus was able to hear that, but none gave it an ear. “Don’t give me that. I bet you don’t go there for that. You go there for money and money only. Your kinda people won’t sit there for a moment if not paid for.”, he roared. I could not deny that as that the truth.

“Now that you also know why you go to office, tell me why you need money.” Better Me asked. I stood clueless on it. I didn’t know what to say. I was an endless silence.

“So that I can give my family a better life”, I whispered. I’m watching KBC a lot these days, so tried to borrow few lines from there. But before I could even end that, he was out in laugh like a mad. “Your family was better off even you were not around. Even today they are better and none is because of you. So don’t force me to bang your head.” he almost had his fist on my head. “Final time, why you need money.” This time he was very serious. I have never seen him this annoyed. But I still didn’t have any answer.

“May be a 2 BHK”. This is all I could gather in 10 sec I was given to answer that.

I stared at me giving me an “iska-kuch-nahi-ho-sakta” look.

”So the whole purpose of you being alive is a 2BHK flat….. Great”, he said and dispersed into air.

It is late afternoon now and I'm still reeling into that trauma. This could be the worst MMB attack on me. May it never come. 

HUNDRED DAYS IN OFFICE

America’s president gives it, Indian prime minister also started it and lots of other EU countries take it more seriously. So I also thought of giving my report on completion of Hundred Days in office.

A lion from college, who always thinks that this world it too small for him or he is present in a wrong world makes it to AMDOCS DVCI without any effort (and I mean it, not even a single effort made by me to grab it). In office, he finds a different world all together. A “student” turns  “professional”. Everyone make him feel special, enjoys being called “SIR”. What more one can ask for, the “HONEYMOON” with the company was going far more better than expected.

The honey moon was at its fullest, and come one more blast. I was selected in “R&D Team”, will be working on the some of the best of minds here in India and Israel . What a dude just out of college needs, than to work in some R&D project.

But then good days go away  far more early than it should. The day I joined my team, I found all of them as if from some other planet. They don’t speak English neither Hindi, they speak in some alien language. “Build, Jameleon, Sanity, WAS, Nightly” and what not. the only word I recognized is “CODE PHAT GAYA”. I knew my days ahead are going to be hard and they were.

Next 30 days were some of the most difficult days till date, I really feels bad when someone says to you that “college me kya kiya tha”.

Finally I am also turning into “ALIEN”. Thing are now settling down (but still a lots more to learn and do). Hoping my association with AMDOCS goes far more and I also turn out to be a good and successful ALIEN.