Ten Thousand and You

Confused on the title….

Well scroll down and  look at bottom-left corner….

Still not clear…..

Dude, my blog just completed 10,000 hits and you just added one more to it.

Thank you all who made this possible. It has been a  wonderful journey writing. I really don’t know if what I write is of any worth or it just contribute to millions and millions of tons of garbage already dumped over net. But one thing for sure, this is something that I love to do and it keeps me going.

It all started somewhere in October 2010, soon after me joining the office, where I saw people work hard and follow their passion harder. When people around you are so pumped up about their pasison, someone cycles, other runs and next to him clicks,  how can you  afford to sit back. And thus it started…..

…and after almost quarter to three years, 57 blogs, 28 followers(most being my friends only) and some 17 comments, I’m here.

There has been ups and downs, lefts and rights, forwards and backwards. At times, I didn’t have anything to say for days and months together, and sometimes I have posted in some 15-20 minutes of writing. Sometimes I have felt overflowed with ideas to pen down and other days have to write “Null Blog” just for the sake of posting. All these time I maintained my “own sets of rule” to write and always obliged to them. Thankfully there were only a countful of breaches of them. J

There have been many good memories of writing for this blog. Some of the best moment was when I saw my blog being copied and pasted in some other’s blog post. It was such a wonderful feeling. People find this interesting enough to copy it. One other good moments was when my sister pinged me that day saying, “Dada, you write good”. She has been my toughest critic and getting these words from her was indeed a achievement for me. It really feels good that my experiences are bringing some good to others. I still remember the mail from some Pradhan couple, who decided to go to Pawankhind after reading my blog, and they thanks me for that.

One other high was when I received an envelope from Google J

Though it was a normal address verification, but the word “Google” written in multicolour on the letterhead was reason enough to make it a prized possession.         

As time passes the rate of post might have gone down but I’m sure I’ll keep on writing and many and many years from now when I’ll have no office to goto, no more action item pending on me, sitting in my backyard, I’ll relive all these wonderful lifetime experiences and tell my grandchildren that you daadu have lived his life to fullest J

Thank you all, once again. 

Raat Kali Hai (Black Night)

It’s RELEASE TIME here at office.

…and all that happens with every release is happening this time too. Late night stays, long calls and blah blah things. Every code that was working until yesterday is not working today. Big daddies have almost deserted their spacious cabins and planted themselves into our bays itself. You have to give same status to three different set of people thrice a day and yet some one or the other will surely drop to your desk roaring those magical three words to you, “What’s the status”. J

“It not because of me, it’s because of someone else’s code…… ”

“How come it caught this late……”

“See, it’s even not working in the previous…….”

“OK, do we have a workaround to it……”

and finally

“Let’s document it. J”

   

These were some of the lines I have been hearing more than normal these days. Thankfully being just an ordinary developer, I’m a silent part of all of it. You only need to be a mute participant into those “entertainment meeting”. Occasionally your name will be tossed up and the word set you are allowed to use are {yes, no, OK, thank you, bye}. The most you need to do is to stay late at the nights and that’s not a big task. In fact the day really goes easy if you know that you have to stay late. You will take an extra 15 minutes at lunch time and honk your skills at foosball table. Your tea time will also be a little longer as you know that the day is not ending soon.

And as soon as sun starts setting down, your kingship over the cubicles will start growing. “Hey, I shall leave now and in case you find any issue just call me anytime”, married members of your team will soon start creeping out. “Koi Nahi Sir. Aaj Raat Kali Hai”, I will smile and grant him bid adieu. Raat Kali, is a popular slang here at Indian office which declares that it’s a long day and you have to be ready to it. Soon you few will be the only humans left in the whole bay or may be in the whole of floor. You are the king now. No Questions, No Answers, No Status. All you need to do is to work and thankfully you have scripts for that too.

Time to unplug myself and first things that will be unplugged will be my headphone. I’m a loyal fan of Abida Parveen. My iPod have a permanent set of gazals of hers and it’s only growing. Her husky voice singing some of the legendry lyrics can make anyone can fall for them. “Ye na thi hamari kismet ki missal-e-yaar hota”, and that beautiful gracious face gets sketched by its own (Sorry, now more details for now). I can listen to her all the day long.

It’s 11:30 PM in the night. My scripts are working for me, legs placed on my desk, sipping hot coffee and Abidaji singing “Ye Kon Aata Hai” for me. You can’t ask any more from life. In fact, a security guy came to me and said “Sir, ye kiska gaana hai , bada accha lag raha hai”. I smiled and continued.

Anyhow this is not all why I’m writing this blog for. “Ye sab toh sab pretext tha”. I know that I’m not the first person to do it also this will not last time. We all stretch some day or the other to make the ends meet. I’m writing this to list down some of the nice gazals I found this release seasons. If you too share some interest in soulful music, I’m sure it will be a good listing for your playlist.

1. O Des Se Aanewaale Bata

2. Sarv-o-Saman Bhi

3. Awwale Shab Woh Bazm Ki Raunk

4. Ye Kon Aata Hai

5. Ek Lafze Mohhabat

You can get all of them on gaana.com.

So next time, when it’s your turn to make “Raat Kali”, do try them. Enjoy and hails Abidaji. 

Purpose to Life: A 2BHK?

I’m not a regular victim of Monday Morning Blues.

And one of the prime reasons for this is my inabilities to find something interesting enough to do in two days weekend. Many times I have almost nothing left to do by Sunday afternoon and hence eagerly start waiting of being at office. Wait, Wait. Just in case, you started thinking that ‘m luckier, you a bit wrong. I too do get hit by Monday Morning Blues (MMB) and mine is sever than other.

This Monday, when I picked my bus to office (sitting at the last but one seat as I have been doing for last 2 years now), I was hit by MMB. It all started by a simple question, “Why ‘m I here”. I firstly tried a half-hearted attempt to avoid the question and started peeping outside. Somebody patted me from back. It is me only, but just a better one. I call him Better Me. He the person I hate to talk the most, but then he is the person who talk the most. He is the one who is never happy of me, no matter whatever I do. He is the worst critic of me I know. And the worst part of the contract is that I can’t lie to him. He claims to know me more than me.

I started getting cold feet as soon as I saw him. He is last man I would like to meet just in the start of day. I tried my most to ignore me.

“Are you trying to avoid me? Don’t you know that this all will not work.” said Better Me with his trademark sarcastic smile.

“OH! It’s you. I just didn’t saw you. How are you doing this morning”, I said.

“Avoid that. Answer me. Why are you here?” His looks were now making me even more nervous and pale. I don’t want to start the week this way. I looked all over and found that there were hardly that could save me from him. I finally gathered myself and decided to hit him hard. Pulling up my sleeves, I replied.

“What a question is this. I’m going to office. I have been doing the same for 2 year now in this time of day and you claim to know me better than me.”, I tried the best I can.

“OK. So you want me to be blunt.” I had lost his cool by now. “Why are you going to office”, he jumped back with another.

“To learn new things”, I replied in the same tone like a student standing in his principal’s room replies.

He was out in laugh. I can see that the whole on bus was able to hear that, but none gave it an ear. “Don’t give me that. I bet you don’t go there for that. You go there for money and money only. Your kinda people won’t sit there for a moment if not paid for.”, he roared. I could not deny that as that the truth.

“Now that you also know why you go to office, tell me why you need money.” Better Me asked. I stood clueless on it. I didn’t know what to say. I was an endless silence.

“So that I can give my family a better life”, I whispered. I’m watching KBC a lot these days, so tried to borrow few lines from there. But before I could even end that, he was out in laugh like a mad. “Your family was better off even you were not around. Even today they are better and none is because of you. So don’t force me to bang your head.” he almost had his fist on my head. “Final time, why you need money.” This time he was very serious. I have never seen him this annoyed. But I still didn’t have any answer.

“May be a 2 BHK”. This is all I could gather in 10 sec I was given to answer that.

I stared at me giving me an “iska-kuch-nahi-ho-sakta” look.

”So the whole purpose of you being alive is a 2BHK flat….. Great”, he said and dispersed into air.

It is late afternoon now and I'm still reeling into that trauma. This could be the worst MMB attack on me. May it never come. 

From Left-Brain of a Right-Brained

I am a right brained person, according to the test I took.

It was a pretty useless test, if you ask me, because the test only checked what I liked to do, and not what I am good at. Those two are entirely different things although people often confuse them as similar. I like doing the right brained stuff but I am good at the left brained stuff. So what am I?

I owe a lot to the left part of my brain, and that is what actually made me graduate. And everything I am today - which is not much, I have to admit - is because of the left part of my brain.

In fact, the right part of my brain has always been responsible for my poor show everywhere. I could have probably done better of me if I really wanted to and allowed my left part of the brain to take over. But then again, it is the right part of the brain which really makes me happy- and there is nothing I can do about it.

So while I do have the potential to be a Rancho or a Chatur, my right brain and my quest for following my dreams has made me a Farhan - or a Hari - or whatever the name of those two losers in 3 Idiots was. But it has also made me happy, happy than I ever could be by being a topper or anything.

Down and low, I sailed over the net. And then I came across this Venn diagram representation of the ideal job (Courtesy: Bud Cadell).

I tried putting my own perspective on the Venn diagram and the results were not positive. These were the results:
a) My current job was probably outside the Venn diagram. I am not very good at it, I definitely don't like it much and it does not pay good money. Well, okay, okay, it pays but not good money. 
b) The work I was good at was mostly left brained things like number crunching, quantitative analysis, qualitative analysis etc. While the things I liked doing were creative writing, chattering aimlessly, playing sports and the likes. Almost a certain mismatch between the two except probably for solving few analytical puzzles. Thinking of best about my jobs is that it pays. So my Venn diagram became the following. 

And now I am totally confused. My left brained skills and my right brained passions have left me little choice, about what to do. The Venn diagram leaves me with only the following options then: 
a) Open a Sports Analytics Company
b) Go around Philosophizing
c) Become a Creative Writer

 However, being a left brained person, I also try being practical. And that practical aspect of me is afraid to take the next big step. A step towards being happier.

-Back to work.

Who Am I ?

I am always torn between choices whether to seek the light or sink into the darkness. I tend to swim in different directions and many a times both ways.

Being well liked for my kind and sympathetic nature, my charm of manner and carefree nature has impressed many. I am compassionate, and unless pushed to the wall, will rarely hurt anyone. I will rarely hurt anyone even when pushed to the wall, because I’m not exactly the kind with big muscles. I apparently am very caustic, but the sarcasm is not always direct, so it generally goes unnoticed. However, it lands me in a spot every once in a while.

I find it difficult to conform and follow rules or to cope with discipline. When the going gets really tough, I don’t get going. Instead I may try to flee down river and hide amongst the vast schools of fish swimming lazily around. However I’m not weak-willed enough to indulge in alcohol and drugs to escape. Alternatively, I pour out my emotions in creative arts. I put my emotions in music, short stories, idiotic writeups, some unnoticed blogs, or ridiculous ramblings and sometime poetry. None of them stands to any standards to artistic proclaims, but I don’t care.

I find myself in knowledge of almost everything in the world, but strangely stand dumb on what I should know. I have my values to life and none but me only can alter and play with them. People find me introvert, but I find me rebellion.

I seldom open up to those around me on a personal basis. My world is very secretive and confined for anyone to peep in. Although I might be impractical and somewhat uneasy with the real world, I’m brave and prefer a lot of independence. I like to delve in spiritual matters and I’m fascinated by the occult, especially the connections it has with Quantum concepts like entanglement and teleportation. I can argue lengths over any of them. I tend to think that I’m psychic, because my dreams can be strange and portentous.

I always remember one thing even if I get amnesia and forget everything else: I am the culmination of all that has gone before, I’m the symbol of death and eternity, I am the distillation of all the other signs. I am the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be. Yet I’m not Bret “The Hitman” Hart.

I nicked it from Astroyogi(reasons that you might encounter unbelievable raise in vocabulary standards) and added liberal amounts of masala to it.

Why Being Simple is Complicated

And so I spent another day wasting a lot of time online, supposedly working, but actually doing a lot else. I have turned a little bit of a net junkie, though I will not, will not admit it! Following one link after another, I came across some articles on the Amish people in theUS. I often tend to read up a lot on some topic that catches my fancy (there is a word for that sort of reading, I just can’t remember what it is now) and while doing so I ended up watching a documentary on them. It was specifically about the practice of ‘rum-springa’ (loosely translated to mean ‘running around’) that allows teenagers to live like the rest of the world for about a year or more. After that they have to choose to either be baptized or leave the community if they prefer not to follow the customs of the Amish.

Now for those of you who haven’t heard of them, the Amish are an ultra conservative community that is mainly known for simplistic living and for shunning all modern technologies, including electricity, cars and communication devices. Children study only up to class 8 after which they are baptized and work in the fields from dawn to dusk. The patriarchal system of society emphasizes on family, the church and the community and discourages much contact with theHigh People or The Englishers as the non-Amish people are called. Predictably, there are several cases of crimes of hate against these people who continue to drive around in horse driven buggies and wear 17thcentury clothes.

Watching the videos and reading up on them, I got thinking (what else could you expect, eh?). I remember vaguely an old Readers’ Digest article on them, talking about how they churn fresh butter every morning. The pictures were taken at dawn, a cow and some Amish people around a table. Addicted that we are to modern amenities, I wondered how easy (or not) it would be to go to a simpler life. No, I don’t mean the Amish way, which would be rather regressive in these times. But then, hear me out here, will you, do we really need all that we burden ourselves with?

There was a time when I was mighty interested in the idea of kibbutz and even contemplated visiting one. I would be the last person to be comfortable living without my personal space but these experiments in alternative living (I believe ‘conscious living’ is the fancier word these days) have long fascinated me. A kibbutz is where you work for the community, where the kids live in separate quarters and there is no concept of individual space. I wonder then what role individualism plays in the creative process of a life. If all things are for and by the collective, would creativity still thrive? Or in the other case of places like Auroville, where nothing belongs to the individual, would it be an ideal field for a creative process to take root in? I have often wondered.

In that light, I sometimes wish (call me regressive, or perhaps idealistic) for ignorance. Ignorance of how big the world is. Ignorance of how many ideas there are. A simple life comes with simpler concerns at least. But when you have seen the other side from over the window, it is just too complicated to let go. To let go of complications in life. To choose the simple over the so-not-simple. To find my way out of another tangle that I have landed myself in with these paragraphs here!

Within the blink of an eye, we go from what is simple to what is twisted, drawn like the proverbial moth to the fire, singeing its wings on the burning blue edges, yet unable to turn away. When simple has been the way things were for longer than they were complicated, why should it be so tough to revert? But it is. Or maybe I am just peeking in from the outside through the coloured panes of the window.

Why 'm I Here.....

Sometimes some conversations really get on your head, and how so ever may you try to forget them, they keep coming back to you.

I read the ‘Joining The Dots' by Steve Jobs, and since then, I am far more convinced and optimistic that everything happens for a reason,only that you can “connect” it really later in your life.

I remember this small tete-a-tete I once had a friend over coffee, “So what is the purpose of life, an IT job that pays well, a Maruti an year from now, an onsite trip two years hence, a Honda City 10 years from now, and if everything goes well, may be a Hummer, or a Mercedes Benz. “

So while I walk around the magniloquent corridors, a pause to think, what I am heading to, a 10-6 job, that pays well, but intellectually, the learning curve has a slope close to zero, may be I never crossed the threshold in the first place.

As I come back from work everyday, I am left exhausted, with my entire body drained out, till the next morning, as I leave for work, and lock my house. But somehow I have increasingly started to comfort myself, ”ok, not this evening, this one’s going to be the way, I want to mould it, but.. There is only “now”, and the “later”, never speaks for itself ”.So as I procrastinate, evenings after evenings, this dissatisfaction drenches me and I tend to question myself repeatedly, will I be where I want to , the helm of my career, when I grow 50? May be then I will forget what the first monsoon means, the parties on Fridays, may the board rooms will take over the goofy cubicle conversations, but if this be the life I want, and if I want it this bad, there is no way, I will not have it.

Think,Decide,Plan, and its already time to attack !

HUNDRED DAYS IN OFFICE

America’s president gives it, Indian prime minister also started it and lots of other EU countries take it more seriously. So I also thought of giving my report on completion of Hundred Days in office.

A lion from college, who always thinks that this world it too small for him or he is present in a wrong world makes it to AMDOCS DVCI without any effort (and I mean it, not even a single effort made by me to grab it). In office, he finds a different world all together. A “student” turns  “professional”. Everyone make him feel special, enjoys being called “SIR”. What more one can ask for, the “HONEYMOON” with the company was going far more better than expected.

The honey moon was at its fullest, and come one more blast. I was selected in “R&D Team”, will be working on the some of the best of minds here in India and Israel . What a dude just out of college needs, than to work in some R&D project.

But then good days go away  far more early than it should. The day I joined my team, I found all of them as if from some other planet. They don’t speak English neither Hindi, they speak in some alien language. “Build, Jameleon, Sanity, WAS, Nightly” and what not. the only word I recognized is “CODE PHAT GAYA”. I knew my days ahead are going to be hard and they were.

Next 30 days were some of the most difficult days till date, I really feels bad when someone says to you that “college me kya kiya tha”.

Finally I am also turning into “ALIEN”. Thing are now settling down (but still a lots more to learn and do). Hoping my association with AMDOCS goes far more and I also turn out to be a good and successful ALIEN.

SHAURYA KYA HAI (What is Bravery)

Before I say anything, let me confess that I’m not a movie freak and I watch movies only if I can’t do anything or its highly recommended by anyone.

The former was the situation last Sunday afternoon. I was jumping channels when I ended up at one showing “SHAURYA”. Being a passionate Uniform Lover I ended up watching whole movie(that a big feat to me) .So this blog is going to be interesting “A Movie Review After 3 Yrs of Release”.

More than anything else what kept me hooked was the story line of the film.

It a story about the decreasing levels of respect to Human Right and  Values. Firstly as anyone else who loves India, I rejected the movie as Absurd, but later I realized that it is actually a brave attempt to come up with this face of Army too.

And yes human right violations has been on an increasing trend in Indian Army. Just imagine how much unquestioned power we give to a army officer and if he starts misusing it, he can make life hell for someone. And now days corruption and sexual harassment is also making head into forces. People in north-east , Kashmir had been raising issues for years and then all of them cannot be wrong.

By the end of the film I was assured the “SHAURYA ” is not bounded to mere few medals on the chest but come from somewhere deep within the heart. Army is not just a job, it a way of life. I urge all those in positions, please don’t let the great tradition of sacrifice, bravery of thousands of officers and soldiers be mainlined by few greedy and insane people.

Indian Army has a tradition of remaining kind to even enemies when off the war fields and I’m sure it was, is and will remain the cleanest, bravest  Army in the world.